A Different idea for Valentines Day

Unless one is blind they can't help but notice that Valentines Day is almost upon us. In an effort to continue our boycott against this oppressive holiday, and to spark new traditions, we here at Team Blue HQ  would like to offer up an alternative to chocolate's and flowers.

1. Eat the Chocolate yourself. Much quicker that way and then you don't have to worry about your spouse sneaking some while your at work.
2. Flowers will die. Is that what you wish to tell your spouse? If you must buy flowers, put them in a pot.
3. If you must purchase something then may I draw your attention to the Bronx Zoo. For the sixth year in a row they are offering the public to name a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach for a loved one. What better way to show your love than by naming a creature in her honor that can survive a nuclear explosion.


Long Live Blue. Down With Pink.

Wife Stealer

We have always known that Sedryn has womanizing ways, but this evening at his birthday party he went to far. He tried to lure my wife away from me with chocolate. Whatever will I do with this child.

Birth Story v2

It was a dark and stormy night when there arose a cry from a nearby house. Not one of panic, but of pain as the baby decided that it was time for him to enter the world. After consulting with her husband they set off for the local delivery place. After many hours of trying labor the baby sprang forth to peals of thunder and flashes of lightning.

Who knew that is how mummies spring forth.

Carving Pupmkins

Carving a pumpkin can always be a fun endevour. But before you begin you need to gather up the tools that you will need.

Besides the obvious need of a pumpkin you will need a knife, a pattern, and a drill.

After carving an opening in the top get your young children to make a mess with the insides. As they have a natural proclivity of making messes then this task should be quite enjoyable for them.

Once the innards have been removed then you need to apply the pattern to the pumpkin. Duct Tape works quite well for this. Then poke along the edges with a sharp metal implement of your choosing. In this case I used a fondue fork, which unfortunately became a casualty of the evening.

Once you have sketched out the pattern then proceed to carve it using either a knife or your drill. The knife will get the job done but is slower and more boring than using a drill.

Once you have completed your drawing then stick a candle inside and then light it. You could light the candle before placing it inside the pumpkin but I hold no responsibility for fires that may occur. Then get your wife who is a Photographer to take some "night" shots for the full effect.

Once you have completed the pumpkin then kick back and enjoy some yummy publix pumpkin ice cream.

Retro girls

For their birthday the girls were given a whole slew of head bands and sun glasses. They promptly decided to model them for us in their best imitation of the style from the 70's. I think this should also keep them safe from silly boys.

Weird Places to grow stuff

On why she needed her face cleaned:

She currently has a blackberry bush growing out of her nose.

Which I guess is better than the one who was apparently gold mining with a pretzel. The final resting place of the pretzel is unknown.

How the girls see their daddy

This evening, as is typical in the Aldrich household, we were sitting there freely playing with our daughters. What was atypical though was that they had sugar in their dessert so Aeralind was much more squiggly than is normal. During this course of play time I was giving them their lessons on what certain objects are. When asked where the pants are, Bronwyn said: Daddy, Daddy and pointed right at my chest. To which I replied Yes daughter, I do wear the pants in this family.

A little later we were trying to help the girls identify that mommy is a woman and I am a man. It went well until Aeralind got to me. According to her I am a woman. I think we will need to work on that.

Genocide

This past evening my wife gave me full approval to commit genocide on a foul infestation on our property. No, it was not against males or team pink as the first would most likely end up in a long prison term and the latter she would probably not approve of. No, it was on a nest of insidious wasps on crack which are more commonly called Yellow Jackets.

I waited until evening and then snuck up to the in-ground nest armed with half of a bottle of bleach. Quickly pouring it down the hole which I then covered with a bucket. Hopefully this menace has been removed from the front yard so I can once again mow the lawn without fear of pain and injury.

On Buying Toys.

My daughters have shown us once again that buying toys is purely optional. They would love nothing more than to stack cans of food. Or maybe use them to hold their cup they are trying to drink from.

Gift Giving

This past week my wife had another twin mom over whose girls are a week older than ours. Moonbeam upon seeing this decided he ought to present these new people with a present for Team Blue. He was quite sad though that they did not appreciate the half-dead rabbit. Don't they know good taste when they see it? Since they rejected his present and went inside he ate it all by his poor self.

Children's Songs

As kids we all learned many and varied songs. One of which was most likely Patty Cake, Patty Cake. This evening though we edited the song to a more appropiate version:

Smash the Skeeter, Smash the Skeeter,
Smash it dead. Smash the Skeeter,
Smoosh the Skeeter, stop its head.

This song is definitely approved by Team Blue. :)

Warning Labels

Warning labels tend to be a good thing. Like telling that it isn't wise to jump the fence into an alligator pit. Or telling you that using a blow dryer while in the shower is not recommended. I wish to present to you a new one from my daughter.

WARNING: Thumps and kicks violently in her sleep. Approach with caution and care.

Apparently she has taken to her own form of suitor defense. Hopefully her crib can handle thumping and violence of this magnitude.

You know your tired when......

You can't finish your lunch.

A Truce during the Snomaggeddon of 2011

This morning the Aldrich household woke up to 8 inches of snow on the ground. If I was living in Maine, this would be a usual occurrence but here in South Carolina we may get that over the course of a few winters. Members from both sides of the war decided that a truce was in order so all parties involved could involve the snow. It was an adventure walking the girls attempt to walk in snow that was hip deep so they resorted to crawling.

Not all was friendly though as one can see that in the above photo someone from Team Pink tried to throw snow at Team Blue. She was able to flee in time though.

Telling Identical Twins Apart

Sometimes telling twins apart can be really easy. If they are boy/girl twins then you have it simple. It does get a bit challenging though when they are identical. Hopefully the following tips can help you easily distinguish between them.

One method is to take the twins in question outside. The one that instantly finds a pile of dirt to eat and cover her face in is most likely the older of the two.

The younger twin is the one who valiently attempts to climb up the slide.

Unfortunately her efforts often end in failure. But her stubbornness will win out until she reaches the top.

Why do we buy Toys?

Could someone please explain why we buy toys for our children? I am at a loss here.

Yes, they emptied out their toy bins so they could play in the boxes.

Termite Problems

Apparently the prior owners of our house had a small termite problem that they took care of and placed a bond on our house. The bond requires a yearly inspection that we are happily continuing. This inspection too place on Monday and I proceeded to inform him that we had a rather large Termite problem in one of the bedrooms.

After asking him about this I showed him said termites to which he simply replied how cute they were and that we should keep them.

Sigh, I just hope they don't start eating the house as well.

Women and the Kitchen

Occasionally we allow the girls into the kitchen, usually near the time that they themselves will be eating. I walked into the kitchen and came upon this scene and was left with several possibilities.
1. They were being taught the intricacies of baking.
2. They were where women belonged, in the kitchen.
3. The more sinister motive of roasting the other Team Blue member.

What do you folks think? Whatever it was, it was quite tasty.

Chocolate cake for Breakfast.

Growing up we always had  your typical foods for breakfast. With the twins birthday nearing my wife thought to trial them on cake as nothing can ruin a party like a visit from anaphylaxis. So, rather than give them the cake during the day my dear wife chose to give it to them for breakfast. Yet if I ask to have pie or something for a meal I get sternly rejected. Something is wrong here. :(

When I shared this with my family my brother pointed out this sketch by Bill Cosby who extols the virtues of eating Chocolate Cake for Breakfast. Does it not have Wheat, Eggs, and Milk in it?  All things that are essential things we should eat.

A New Prohibition: No More Yellow and Black striped Insects

Yesterday we were enjoying a pleasant day in the park. Upon seeing a bench we thought we would sit for a while as the twins were starting to get hungry. Unfortunately shortly after we sat down we were suddenly and viciously assaulted by none other than a swarm of Yellow Jackets. We did nothing to provoke them, they just attacked us. We quickly fled the area but unfortunately they managed to land several hits on us. Somehow Bronwyn managed to use Hide In Plain Sight and avoided ALL attacks on her. Dear Aeralind got hit 3 times but she was a trooper and did not show her fear or pain. I partly wonder if this was a plot by team pink to attack us and if it was, it is very bad form on their part.