A Different idea for Valentines Day

Unless one is blind they can't help but notice that Valentines Day is almost upon us. In an effort to continue our boycott against this oppressive holiday, and to spark new traditions, we here at Team Blue HQ  would like to offer up an alternative to chocolate's and flowers.

1. Eat the Chocolate yourself. Much quicker that way and then you don't have to worry about your spouse sneaking some while your at work.
2. Flowers will die. Is that what you wish to tell your spouse? If you must buy flowers, put them in a pot.
3. If you must purchase something then may I draw your attention to the Bronx Zoo. For the sixth year in a row they are offering the public to name a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach for a loved one. What better way to show your love than by naming a creature in her honor that can survive a nuclear explosion.


Long Live Blue. Down With Pink.

On dragons

Sedryn: Their was a pink dragon outside my window and he scared me. But Toothless scared him away.

On Mongrels

Me: Come on my little Mongrels
Sedryn: I am not a Mongrel.
Aeralind: No, he is a Mon-Boy.

When Pink Attacks

This is what happens when you have members of pink in your house. They make horrid changes to poor, defenseless animals. Take this giraffe for example.

He was happily enjoying life in our house until the girls viciously attacked him with a pink tutu. He was then left for the poor boy to play with. We must remove his tutu to make him a much happier giraffe.

Crazy speak

Having children means that sometimes we say things we never thought we would say. Such as below:

Sedryn: Daddy, there are bananas in there.
Me: We do not put fruit in our binoculars.

A horrid occurrence

While team blue was slaving away at work team Pink snuck out and did something truly awful. With no input from the superior side, they purchased some atrociously colored sleeping bags. Not only are the pink but they also promote the pink culture through Hello Kitty.

It is a good thing that the tent is blue else the camping trips would be a miserable ordeal.

A picture of the offending items are below.

On the meaning of names

Last night we had a discussion with our kids on what their names meant.

Me: Aeralind, do you know what your name means?
Aeralind: No
Me: It means hymn. Bronwyn, do you know what your name means?
Bronwyn: No
Me: It means enduring. Sedryn, do you know what your name means?
Sedryn: Cookie Store
After we all stopped laughing.
Me: It means faithful.

How to eat

Me: Sedryn, we don't put our food in your water.
Wifey: He is pre-digesting his food. Kind of smart.

On Marriage

Overheard the following conversation between our three kids:

Bronwyn: We (meaning her and Aeralind) are going to marry Sedryn
Sedryn: uhh.......
Aeralind: No, there is only one of him. We are marrying Ben and Jay
Bronwyn: No, we will marry Sedryn
Aeralind: Ben and Jay!!!!!

Un-Happy Valentines Day

In the spirit of this post here I have thought I would write a new post concerning on the day that will shortly be upon us. It seems that every year us men are incessantly reminded that if we want to be a good person we must buy our significant other something special. But not any old special item, it has to be valued in the hundreds of dollars to even be considered. The other pitfall is that if the "special item" does not meet some unknown criteria then the gift is a "failrure" and the man must make another attempt. All the while he must suffer the disappointment from his significant other, which can range from silence to outright hostility. What to do you think caused the Tunguska Event. Undoubtedly it was caused by an irate women who most definitely did not appreciate her husbands gift. Unfortunately, I fear that that the bits of him were left all over the Siberian plains.

For those of you who wish to avoid the fate of that unfortunate man may I offer some timely suggestions.

1. Spontaneously give your spouse gifts throughout the year that are unexpected and appreciated. This isn't one or the other.
2. Don't suddenly stop with Valentines Day. Slowly work your way into it through the years. Talk with her as well, or else you maybe the second Tunguska Event. 
3. Remember the real story behind St. Valentine, the person this holiday is named after.

Birthdays

Tomorrow is my birthday and today we made applesauce. In honor my birthday pink was utterly sinister and gave me this hideous bowl with the yummy hot applesauce inside. Thankfully, the hideous bowl did not taint the applesauce.

Conversations with Toddlers

Aeralind: I am chasing brother with a broom
Melissa: We don't chase brother with a broom
Aeralind: Only swords then
Derek: Not with swords either

Extra appendages

We had the following conversation the other day at the dinner table.

Melissa: Of course it fell on your arm  daughter. It was hanging out of your mouth like a fourth tongue.

Derek: So, where is she hiding the other three.

My Crocodile doesn't Bite (Book of the week)

Books on pets are a good thing as they can broaden the child's horizon's on what is an acceptable pet. It is even better to read books on some of the more obscure pets in case one of them suits their fancy. Sometimes though, they will give you a hint by the book they choose. This was one such case. Guess I better get started on an enclosure for him.

Blue Strikes Back

Not one to shrink down under pressure Sedryn devised a sneaky way to counter-attack against Team Pink. While I was away he decided to be helpful and get his mommy a glass of water. It was only after drinking the first glass that she noticed the sink was not getting turned on and he was using the toilet as his watering hole. While I am happy she is not ill, I am also happy that he has started to strike back against Pinks viciousness.

A Most Heinous Torture

Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of the minds of those who lead Team Pink they have devised an evil and horrid form of torture for those weaker members of Team Blue. They decided that he needed to toughen so they grabbed the scissors and started chopping with little care to his nerves or his feelings. Here is documentary proof of their latest act of torture when they declared he needed a hair cut.

Ideas on fun

While recently at our children's museum I had a choice between something horrid or something lovely. I could either go suffer in the farm amd subject poor Sedryn top girly things, or we could do something manly. We of course, chose the manly, blue thing to do.

A most horrific assault

It seems that team pink has no qualms about attacking the smallest member of team pink. This time it was not one of the younger members, which is expected, but the eldest member who viciously attacked the smallest member of Team Blue by attacking his toes with pink paint and were actually happy about their assault.

This heinous act must be retaliated against. No pictures to spare your eyes from this atrocity.

Favorite foods

I thought it would be fun to interview my daughters on what their favorite foods are. I Ann kinda concerned on what my wife is feeding them.

Aeralind: chicken, popcorn, carrots, ice cream, and ants.

Bronwyn: ants, avocado,

Our part lizard

Melissa: Honey, what did you just do to the baby?
Derek: I ripped his arms off.
Melissa: Obviously you need to quit ripping his arms off because they keep growing back. He must be part lizard.