Rebellion strikes at us

It seems that one of the girls has already started on a rebellious streak. What is next, she fully accepts the pink propaganda?

The issue of boyfriends

So, I have this problem. While it is making my wife happy to get out of the house and see other people, unfortunately most all of them have twin boys.

As you can see here Bronwyn is openly flirting with one of the boys and ignoring the rules I set forth for boys to come over.



Aeralind though remembered the rules and totally gave the other boy the hand.



The rules that I had set forth. It seems that my wife though will have to be shot with the nerf gun for her flagrent violation of the rules.

Pinks idea of christmas

While visiting the nearby Target my wife found out what pinks idea of christmas is. She found there a flamingo that has been so horrifically modified that it bears no resemblence with the real bird. Rather than taint this blog with a picture of this horrific act I shall post a link.

For those interested in knowing what a real flamingo looks like, here is a picture of one. While it is pink that is acceptable as God created them that color.

Extreme Baby Feeding: Part 3

My dear mother exhibiting some extraordinary measures in feeding the twins solo.

A Necessary Defense

My wife has been spending some time with other moms of multiples who have twins under 1, which I always thought was a great idea. That is, until I discovered that most of them are boys and they have taken to flirting with them and my girls are flirting back. I definitely did not think I would have to start work on the Suitor Defense Plan this early. Now to decide what to put in first, as they are small I think the Moat would be a good first choice. :)



I think that should keep them at bay, at least for now.

What every child needs...

There should be a rule that all children recieve a rubber duck when they are born, as it is essential to their development. Rather than be content with the small one we have, that supposedly lets us know if the water is to hot or cold. She found a ginormous one that is over taking our bathtub. Thankfully it is not pink but the standard yellow and orange. If that was not enough, you can squeeze his bill and he quacks like a duck. The mighty roar of the duck shall certainly strike fear in any suitors, unless they are a duck hunter.

Extreme Baby Feeding pt2.

My wife has joined the local moms of multiples club and several of them have twins under 1 yr. So they go out on a weekly excursion to hang out and the following is exhibit is from one of those excursions. My wife had to feed the girls and the only suitable location was a nearby bench. With no pillow at hand she did what any woman in desperate straights would do and crosses her legs and plops them on each knee. I am still wondering just what this look is for that she is doing.

Pinks attempt at a counterattack

It seems yesterday my wife starting taking desperate measures to ensure pinks victory. When I noticed this I was shocked and appalled at what she had done. She recently acquired a halo sleep wrap and has wrapped up the girls in it, imitating a straight jacket. She then declared this is due to Bronwyn's refusal to wear pink.

Poor Bronwyn tied up in her straight jacket:


Aeralind lamenting the fate of her sister:

Extreme Baby Feeding

I thought I would start a short series on some of the more extreme methods we have undertaken when feeding the twins.

The first exhibit would be my sister who is attempting to feed both of the twins. Rather than use both hands, one was occupied with her camera, she used one hand and one foot.

Blue strikes back, if that is needed

I am somewhat mystified by my wife's recent post on how pink was striking out at blue by Aeralind spitting up on something non-pink. The reason is that the babies currently can not differentiate between colors therefore she has is trying to make a moot point, but I digress. While her post was a straw mans argument today we achieved a total victory for team blue. When I went to feed the twins I discovered that the twins were wearing matching outfits that were white with little giraffes on them. To further the cause for team blue they were sporting a classy pair of BLUE bum-genius diapers.



The pink quilt was to appease my wife.

To further aid team blue this picture was taken yesterday after putting them both in a pink outfit. I think their reaction says enough.

A Set-Back for Team Blue

Last night Aeralind took rather drastic biochemical measures to let her daddy know what she thought of being wrapped in a green blanket.

After a blanket and an outfit change (lavender wasn't good enough either), Aeralind seemed extremely pleased with herself wearing this new and adorable gown.

Well, at least Derek can hold out hope that Bronwyn might stay on his side for a little while longer.

The first month part 2

I thought in honor of the twins 1 month birthday that I would write down some of the more interesting things that have happened in our household with twin girls.

At 2:30 in the morning while feeding one of the girls I looked at my wife and said: "Honey, I am going to mow the carpet tomorrow." Not to be outdown she replied: "Honey, Why did the ocean randomly turn on?"

One evening she said to me: "I am the coolest mom in the world, I can turn on the ocean with my foot." Referring to my clock radio that can play ocean sounds, and jungle sounds to, that we use at night for the girls.


I absolutely love watching them snuggle up close to each other when they sleep. They do it many times without provocation. It is like they instinctively know their sister is close by.

Being told by my wife that Aeralind is a trip hazard when she descends the stairs so I need to lower her via a bucket.

I asked my wife one night what she is feeding them since our 4wk preemie girls are growing quickly. She quickly answered that she is feeding them Miracle Grow, Radiator fluid, and a side of cow growth hormone.

A tale of sleepless nights and insightful comments

Today being the 1 month birthday of the twins I thought that over the next few days I would share some of the more interesting comments my wife and I have shared with each other at some obscene hour of the day.

One of the first to befall us was the following incident that has occurred over many evenings:
We have both been plauged by invisible baby syndrome. I have apparently both burped a baby and protected one in my sleep. While she has many times told me she fed the non-existent baby in the bed. (For the record we do not sleep with the twins.) She has also asked me to pickup the baby she had with her in the bed despite their not being one there.

Apparently they are also going into a rebellious stage as Aeralind has been sporting a mowhawk since birth. Not to be outdone by her sister Bronwyn has grown a mullet.

We have gone to the birds

It seems Bronwyn is wanting to follow in her dad's footsteps and go birdwatching. Guess Blue is getting somewhere with them. :)

Pink may win, but blue gets something

At least I can know that even if pink manages to win that I can get something beneficial out of this endevour.

The twins monday afternoon blues

It has rained here the past 3-4 days so we are all stuck inside. This has put the twins in a rather blue mood, which makes team blue happy. Team pink is upset but they can deal with it.

Pinks Secret Plan

Ahoy mateys. While blue team is sleeping we will sneak in and plunder their ports, steal their blueness, and replace everything with pink.

This post brought to you by Talk like a Pirate Day and the number 5.

Team pink flexes their muscles

So, my wife calls me on Friday and tells me that her water broke because Baby A decided to break out and see the world. I met her at the hospital and they were delivered healthy that night, which was a great answer to prayer.

Aeralind, baby A, decided to flex her muscles for team pink.



Rushing to the rescue I was able to get Bronwyn, baby b, into something cute but not pink.



Unfortunately I learned later that they simply wanted to be dressed up at the nursery as there were twin boys there.

Femininity without pink

Yesterday my wife and I had a gift card for Babies-r-us that needed spending. We arrived at the clothing section and she said those joyous words, "Honey why don't you pick out some of the clothes." :) So, I sorted out the clothes and found several lovely outfits without pink.

A nice matching but not matching outfit for them next summer.



Something that is not boyish blue, but more feminine. It is all in the ruffles.



And here they are valiently holding the line against pink.

Reinforcements as Promised

Someone sent me this picture. Where can I find this cat? He would make a good ally.

A Contemplative Victory

Yesterday while visiting the doctor's we had some great pictures of Baby A who decided to be playful and fun.


Here, she is contemplating who will win this battle. Blue or Pink.





She then decided that Blue was obviously the better color and gave it the V for Victory sign.

A Great Atrocity

My wife and I hung up a poor innocent clothes line so we can dry clothes and not run up our electric bill. Line dryed clothes feel nicer as well. This evening I come back from working at the bank and I see that the poor clothesline has been assaulted. It is lined with Pink sheets and they have surrounded the poor green sheet and are about to pounce him. After dinner I did what any brave man would do and I rescued that poor, defenseless green sheet.

A Well Trained Wife.

My wife was walking through the mall on Thursday and was approached by a vicious Mary Kay salesman. This lady had the audacity to tell my wife that she needed a facial, without even an introduction. My wife in her wise ways not only refrained from slapping the lady but also refused to purchase anything. A wonderous victory against pink.


Anyways, why would you want to buy something from someone who could drive this hideously coloured car?

A stalemate with Pink

This last week the good people at my work dragged me to a baby shower for my wife. I was fearful as I expected to get inundated with pink stuff, maybe even the dreaded pink diapers. Thankfully, I was spared the horror of to much pink. Most of the stuff was in a color that told Pink that it can return to whence it came.

Thankfully the baby monitor was blue and white, not pink. :)

My boss had great sympathy on my plight and not only bought stuff that was not pink, but put it in a nice blue striped bag.

His boss, who threatened me to NOT name them agatha and burtha, gave us a nice matching outfit for the twins in red, which is the greatest color out there besides blue.

Lastly, my painful concession for not getting much pink was having to eat on a pink plate. Thankfully, I found a cup that was green.

A Willing Concession

Sometimes in a fight we must concede, whether it be willingly or in desperation. This past Sunday we were given a gift that I am quite willing to allow the twins to wear despite it being pink. Why may you ask? Because these fine items were not purchased in any store but were bought by a lady who was visiting her daughter in Ecuador, who is a missionary to some Indians there. Each of the outfits were hand made. That I suppose is an acceptable time to wear pink, when the item in question has been hand made by the Quechua Indians.

The Invasion of Pink

With my wife's first baby shower it seems that seemingly friendly people are trying to dismantle the blue team by aiding and abetting with the enemy. What started as a slightly pink nursery is quickly becoming more and more pink. Not only are their cribs pink, but it seems that even their toy box is as well.





It seems they now have a whole slew of pink clothes.

Even a innocent picture frame has been turned into a tool of the enemy.

Somehow pink infiltrated our bathroom and is trying to disguise itself as a innocent bottle of soap. I shall have to replace it.

There is some good news, these two outfits are quite cute and I will take more of them. Bonus points for NOT being pink.

They also get 2 giraffe's to play with that thankfully were not dessicrated by being pink.

Even their second car seats are blue, they also look very sleak and snazzy.

At least the diapers are not pink. I don't know if I could have handled that.

How should I react to this?

While at the specialist on Monday one of the girls was apparently giving the L sign. My wife says she was calling me a loser for missing the appointment. I say she is calling Pink a loser color.

Something else to watch out for.

Not only do I have to worry about Pink overtaking the house, there is another issue I have to be wary about. That is how will I deal with suitors and other men who show an interest in my daughters. While discussing with a friend, we came up with a great solution to this dilemna.

The first thing you need to install is a moat. Ensure it is both deep and wide enough to avoid an easy passing. Also ensure there are no trees within 50 feet as they can be used as an impromptu bridge. If you are dealing with persistant suitors you can put razorwire in the moat and then fill it with water. That should deter them.





If they are to persistant and make it past the moat then install several napalm cannons. These should have built in infrared and motion sensors. That should let them auto-target any interlopers who try to break in.



For a final line of defense have several wolverines. Their fierceness and tenacity should mop up any suitors who make it this far.

Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia.com

A Solid Victory

Earlier this week I was informed by my wife that we would be recieving 2 car seats as a gift. Upon recieving them yesterday we opened them and I discovered a stunning victory in the war against pink. Not only were they not pink, YAY!!!!!, but they were blue. They could have been no better color.