Suitor Defense: Auctions

I am sad to inform you that yesterday while I was cooking dinner I had the first interloper bypass the suitor defense fortifications surrounding the house. He somehow traversed the moat, tamed the Wolverines, and scaled the portcullis and snuck into the twins room. Thankfully my wife caught him in the act before there was any lasting harm done.

Little did he know that there is one final step in this suitor defense. As he is a Single, young man I will now auction him with an opening bid of one wife. The only requirement is that she is a Christian women that likes motorcycles. Please send all bids through a comment on this blog.

Mud Princess

I present to you our newest creation..... The Mud Princess. She is determined to do her best for Team Blue while defeating Team Pink through sheer cuteness. If I must raise Princesses then I shall encourage them to play in the mud and do other Team Blue activities.

A New, unwanted Enemy: Odus Media

It seems that we have a new enemy in our midst. Three times in the past two months he has snuck into their beds and cause them to stir in restlessness waking up their parents. Not content with simple restlessness they then moan and cry causing us to have to go rescue them from this foul menace. We rapidly sent out a plea for help and our cry was answered by bounty hunters under the guise of eligible young ladies. It took some work, but each time this menace invaded the quiet of our homes we summoned the bounty hunters who quickly banished him back to the wild world where he belongs.

Due to Bounty Hunter Costs we cannot offer a larger reward.